I get a random email!
by Wingz are me17
Summary: Max is looking at e-mail and stops at a chain letter so she decides to do what it says. thisleads off into a whole chain of events. Sets off the e-mail wars. may go to mars. more to come soon.R&R.
1. The random email

AN: Hi everybody!! this is kind of a stupid thing i thought of randomly, but i think it turned out pretty good. I am attempting to write a twilight fic right now, and the summary will be at the bottom, so please tell me what you think.

disclaimer: i don't own maximum ride no matter how much i pray, Jimmy-Patt does.

Now on with the story.( in the e-mail what max says will be in italics and bold, and what she types is bold)

* * *

**Hey everybody, it's, me, Maximum Ride. And if you haven't heard of me get with the program people!! There are four books out already! If you want to find out about me, please go to your neighborhood Barnes and Nobles.**

**Ok, I'm just checking fanmail from some people that have sent e-mails to me.**

**Just to let you know, I LOVE E-MAILS THAT HAVE GAMES IN THEM!! You know, like, chain e-mails and stuff.**

**Wow, here's another one from Wingz are me17 (AN: that's me!!). She e-mails me a lot. But this one looks cool. The subject line says: Fwd: FW: Ur name.**

**I think I'm gonna look at this one.**

Ha ha

don't erase mess ups!

Spell your name:

**Maximum**

_**That was easy.**_

Spell it backwards:

**mumixam**

_**Hmmm... I wonder how you would say that?**_

Spell it with your elbow:

**Maxiju muhyj m**

_**You can see my name in that bunch of letters, right?**_

Spell it with your eyes shut:

**maxumhm**

_**I am terrible at finding the keyboard with my eyes**_

_**closed.**_

Spell it with your forehead:

**M,swx8imju7m**

_**OH, MY GOSH!!**_

_**Fang came in while I was doing that!! He just gave me a look that said "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!"**_

_**And then I screeched (Yes, Maximum Ride does screech) "Get the heck out of here Fang!! Don't you know your suppose to knock first!!"**_

_**Then abruptly he turned around and left muttering, "Then have a great time smashing your head on the keyboard."**_

"_**FANG!!" I screeched again.**_

_**Then I got up and locked the door**__._

Spell it with your chin:

_**Good thing I locked the door. Just look at that one. It would be really awkward if one of the flock came in to seeing me banging my head on the keyboard. It may entertain the erasers long enough for us to beat them though.**_

**M,zxm iom ,uj m,**

_**That felt really weird.**_

Funny, especially if someone walks in the room while  
your

slamming your head on the keyboard.

_**Ugh, I could have used the warning before hand.**_

So send this too

all your friends

and to the person that sent it to you. We want to see

how you

_**How you what?**_

_**Ok, who sends an e-mail with no ending, that is just stupid.**_

_**Thanks a lot Wings are me17.**_

_**Although it was kind of fun til Fang came in.**_

_**But he kind of ruined the whole thing after he came in.**_

_**Maybe I'll send this to him and take a picture while he is smashing his head on the keyboard.**_

* * *

**Did you like it, love it, hate it? please review this is my first fanfic.**

**I was also wondering if I should make more random e-mails. it will say complete unless you guys decide you want more random e-mails.**

**here is the summary for Imprint:**

**Renee left charlie and bella alone when bella was just eight months old. Bella and Charlie are quillite and live on the reservation. bella and jake are dating, but what happens when vampires move into town and werewolves are popping up. Plus, Bella feels a magnetic pull to a certain bronze haired, gold eyed boy.**

**Find out what happens in Imprint.**

**Please tell me if you think i should do it.**

**ALSO PLEASE REVEIW THIS IS MY FIRST FANFIC.**

**sorry about the caps i didn't know they were on and i don't feel like going back. i gotta go now. i have to read new moon to help me with Imprint.**


	2. Max gets fangy

**'Ello ladies and gentleman. And yes that is supposed to say ello. Here is the chapter I promised. it has a couple of different POVs. My friend says that I need a hobby because I'm on fanfiction so much. I hope you guys enjoy.**

**_Dedicated to:_ _Nikik, Midnight-Torture, and FaxyLover for being the only ones to review this story._**

**Disclaimer: I even wished on a shooting star, but I still do not own Maximum Ride.**

(Max pov)

Hey people, I'm back, the mutant freak with wings AKA Maximum Ride. I sent Fang the e-mail I got yesterday to his blog. I got Angel's helpso that when he reads it, even if he doesn't want to do it, Fang will have to smash _his head _on the keyboard.

There I will be waiting with a video camera ready to record it. It should be hilarious.

(Angel pov)

I am so excited!! Max is letting me use my power!! YAY!! Even if it just to make Fang slam his head on the keyboard. But it really is weird that max can use _my_ power, when I can only use it on, like, erasers( I think I just started babbling like Nudge. I've been reading her mind too much).

(Fang pov)

You are reading Fang's Blog. Welcome.

Today's date: Already Too Late!

You are visitor number: Counter thing broke again, and I don't feel like getting Nudge. Besides she'd probably talk me to death, and I wouldn't be able to write this.

**Just chillin' out**

Yeah, just read the title of this blog. We've just been hangin' out at Max's mom's house. We're taking a break from the whole save the world thing. There's not much to say, just wanted to keep you guys posted.

Fly on,

Fang

I looked at what I wrote and thought it looked pretty good. I already got two replies.

The first one said:

Hey Fang,

Are you going out with Max? Because if you are, you should dump her and date me. I am a red head, and everyone knows red heads are best.

Love,

Lgirl47

**(AN: I just couldn't resist putting that)**

I just sat there shocked for five minutes. Then I came out of my stupor and quickly deleted the message. I really hope that wasn't Lissa from Virginia. I mean, I like Max, not Lissa. Wait- what?? Whatever, on to the next one.

(Max pov)

Yes, finally!! Angel just told me that Fang is checking his replies. I better get the video camera ready. This is going to be awesome!!

(Angel pov)

I just told Max that Fang is about to look at the e-mail. I am so happy to be able to use my power!!

Max says I can be the first one to watch the video right after her. Oops, I better get ready for some mind control.

(Fang pov)

Ok, the next one is from someone called FlockLvr33. I've never gotten a reply from them before. **(AN: I wonder who that is? coughcoughMaxachoo.) **I wonder what they have to say.

That's weird it looks more like an e-mail than a comment.

Well, here it is:

Ha ha

don't erase mess ups!

Spell your name:

**Fang**

_**This is stupid.**_

Spell it backwards:

gnaf

_**Why am I still doing this?**_

Spell it with your elbow:

Ftgraqn btg

__

_**I think I'll stop right after the next one.**_

Spell it with your eyes shut:

fabg

_Why am I doing this again?_

Spell it with your forehead:

_Okay, I think I'll stop right here._

"**Oh no, you don't," **Angel chimes in.

"Don't even think about it, Angel!" I thought back to her.

"**Thinking, thinking, thought. You will do what this part of the e-mail says," she tells me in thought in the weird voice she gets when she is in mind control mode.**

Damn, now I will have to do it.

Well, at least no one is in here.

(Max pov)

Angel told me that Fang is just about to bang his head on the keyboard. I'm goin in!!

(Fang pov)

Damn, I just heard someone come in. Well here we go. This sucks.

Vgbfsw bh

( Max pov)

OMFG!! This is frickin' hilarious. And I'm getting it all on tape!! I can't wait to show the rest of the flock.

(Fang pov)

Argh, I think Max came in while I was doing that. I really hope things don't get worse than that.

But I think I'm gonna stop right here.

"_Is that all right with you Angel?" I think to her sarcastically._

"_**That's just fine, Fang. We're**__**done with you now;" she says back.**_

"_Wait, Angel! What do you mean by 'we'? You and Max? What did you guys do?" I thought-yelled back._

But all I heard was an evil giggle.

_**To be continued….**_

Ooh, cliffie for Fang.

So do you guys like it?

I only stopped there cuz I really wanted to get this chapter out tonight.

Guys, I really need reviews. I mean, I've only gotten five reviews, but have had like eighty hits. Plus two of those reviews were from my best friend who hasn't even read Maximum Ride(no offense).

Has anyone else had the problem of getting reader traffic up?

I also like Con. Crit. It helps me with the chapters.

I really don't want to hold chapters hostage but I will if it gets worse.

Also for those of you who have read twilight did you guys like the summary for Imprint that I put in chapter one?

I love my reviews and reviewers. So please, it doesn't take long just review.

-Wingz


	3. The Plan

**HEY!!! I'm back!!! Sorry for the super-duper late chapter!!! I've been on writer's block lately. But more on that at the end. Now we left off on an evil giggle…. (regular thinking/talking in normal writing. Thinking toward Angel or thinking back to her: italicized. Angel thinking: bold/italicized{that's only happening in the flashback,though})**

**Disclaimer: I do not even own the e-mail, let alone Maximum Ride.**

**(Fang POV)(2 days later)**

_(Flashback)_

Argh, I think Max came in while I was doing that. I really hope things don't get worse than that.

But I think I'm gonna stop right here.

"_Is that all right with you Angel?" I thought to her sarcastically._

"_**That's just fine, Fang. We're**__**done with you now," she said back.**_

"_Wait, Angel! What do you mean by 'we'? You and Max? What did you guys do?" I thought-yelled back._

But all I heard was an evil giggle.

_(End of flashback)_

Dang it! What was going on with Angel and Max? They were acting strange. I mean, more strange than a mind controlling, shape shifting, being able to fly a billion miles per hour mutant bird kid. Well, you know what I mean. And if you don't, I don't really care.

But seriously, first a stupid random e-mail. Then Angel controls my mind so that I bang my head on the keyboard. Then an evil giggle and that's it. What the hell is up with that?

Then again, apparently Max and Angel are doing something against me. And it has to do with that stinkin' e-mail. What the heck was Max doing when Angel started to control my mind?

Why was she having Angel control my mind, anyways? They have to be cooking up something. But, freaking, what? God, what the hell is wrong with them?

**(Max POV)**

I finally got the video of Fang smashing his head on the keyboard finalized. It's so hilarious, I almost wet my pants, and that was _before_ I was done. I can't wait to show the flock. But I have to wait for the perfect moment when no one expects it(except Angel, of course. The little mind reader. But she already knows about it, so it doesn't matter), so it'll hit 'em real hard, not literally, of course. Just enough to laugh 'til they cry and tease Fang enough to make him blow up.

It may not be fun to be near Fang when he blows, but it'll sure be hilarious. You just need to run, well in most cases, fly, really, really fast without letting him catch you.

I just know the rest of the flock, and the world, is gonna love the video because Angel and I sure do. She's only seen it from my mind, but still. I just don't know when to show it to them. And how to get Fang away, so he doesn't kill the video before I show it.

The flock needs to be super bored so it will have more of an impact on them. But we have been pretty bored lately, considering there's been no action with the erasers/flyboys/any other weird School or Itex concoctions, and we're just staying at my mom's so it's not like there's much to do.

But I still have no frickin' clue as to how I should show it to them. It's not like I can just go and say "Hey, flock, come and watch Fang slam his head on the keyboard!!!!!"

No, no, no. This has got to be perfect. But how? BUT HOW????

I've got it!!! I'll call an all house family/flock meeting, but won't tell Fang and make sure no one else in the house tells him. This'll be perfect because I'll start talking about how we should plan our next move since we've had no attacks and whatever. Then in the middle of talking I'll 'accidently' hit the DVD player and start the video. So then we'll have been all serious, so we'll laugh super hard. It'll be poifect!

Now, just when should I do this? The sooner the better, I think!!!

But how do I get Fang away while I do this? I could make him go for a fly. Tell him he need the exercise. And if that doesn't work just kick his big bootie out of the house by force.

So see, this'll work. I have a Plan A _and_ a Plan B. I think I'll try to get him out of the house soon. Oh, sweet revenge!

* * *

Okay, so I know it's been a super- duper long time since I've updated. I know exactly how long but I'd prefer not to say.

And I'm sorry this is just basically a filler. But I absolutely needed to get something up soon, and I didn't want to put in the Plans just yet.

I would give y'all excuses as to why I didn't update in so long, but I'd rather not bombard you with all of them. I've got a good idea of what is going to happen next chapter, so be ready. I promise it won't take that long this time. I'd try for this weekend, but I'm going to this camp, so I won't have my computer. But I'll try to get some stuff out on paper while I'm there.

So how was the chapter? Did you like it, love it, hate it? I'd love to know. I also accept anon. reviews and love constructive criticism.

It's not too much trouble, will you please press the pretty green button and review?


	4. All for a dang birthday party

**Hey, it's me again. Y'know the person writing the story? So, basically we left off with Max figuring how to work The Plans and Fang wondering what the heck was going on. So ready, set, read!**

**Disclaimer: First of all, I'm not a guy, I'm a **_**girl**_**. Second of all I'm not however old JP is. Third of all, if I owned the MR books Final Warning would be completely different. So, obviously I don't own the books, nor claim to own them or the e-mail.**

* * *

**(Max POV) (later the same day)**

"Hey, Fang! Get your birdie butt in here right now!" I yelled from my room. I was putting Plan A into action.

I was going to kick him out of the house on 'errands.' And if he didn't go willingly I would forcibly kick him out with my big ol' shoe. Hopefully he'll just listen to me and get out. But since when has anything been _easy_ for Maximum Ride? And I didn't think that was gonna change right now.

"What do you want, _Mom_?" Fang yelled from across the house. I heard snickers from the kitchen.

"You guys better shut it down there, or I am gonna whoop your birdie behinds!" I yelled to Gazzy, Angel, Iggy, Nudge, and Ella. I don't know if Mom was laughing herself, but if she was, I was yelling at her, too. But they shut up pretty quickly anyway.

"Just come here, Fang!" I yelled back, my temper rising. This whole thing better be worth it. But come on, it'll have to. It's hilarious. Dang, am I talking to myself? Great, now I have a Voice in my head _and_ I talk to myself. How much crazier could I get?

"Whatever," Fang breathed loud enough for me to hear. I could barely hear his quiet footsteps heading towards my room. Fang opened and closed the door with a bang.

"What is it, Max?" He asked having that obnoxious tone I hate.

"Oh, it's _nothing_, Fang," I said, using my best innocent voice. "Just wondering if you would do me a teensy, tiny favor," I say being innocent and girly. Ugh.

"Well, what is it, Max? I haven't got all day," Fang answered. What's with him being all irritated and impatient? I know why he soon _will_ be, but why now?

"What's got your wings all tied in a knot? Can you just listen? All I want is for you to go out for a little bit!" I said, feeling my anger coming out of me.

"What if I don't want to?" Fang sneered at me.

"Well you're going to," I said forcing my leaderness upon him.

"No, I'm not," Fang said. Fine, then. This boy was a piece of work. Well, I'd just bring out the actor Max on him.

"Okay. Fine, Fang. Do you want to know what I am really kicking you out of the house for?" I asked, trying to sound guilty. He nodded his head slowly, suspiciously. "We're planning your surprise birthday party," I pretended to confide in him. He looked even more suspicious.

"Max, I'm going to say this slowly for you. I know we didn't go to school, but I would hope you would know simple math. You're older than me. Your birthday isn't for another month. _Mine _isn't for another five. Iggy's isn't for seven, but let's not make this even more complicated for you. So, we'll leave Iggy out, but I doubt that you guys have started planning my surprise birthday party before we started planning yours," Fang said slowly, talking like I was mentally challenged. Well, usually I wouldn't take that, so I went with it.

"What do you mean!? You guys haven't started planning my birthday party yet! B-but we've been planning yours for weeks!" I screamed trying to sound outraged. I need to win a Grammy for this. If I wasn't so paranoid, I would've totally became an actress.

"Uh, no, we haven't, and…Earth to Max? I'm not going," Fang told me smirking at the end. Oh, does he really think he can control me? No one controls Maximum Ride. For she is leader and does not get defeated. Let's see how he deals with this.

"Oh, really? Because I think you should want to go," I say nonchalantly. He is getting more suspicious by the second.

"And what would that be?"Fang questioned me, thinking he had me. Well, he didn't 'cause Maximum Ride always has a plan. And if she doesn't, she pretends she does! How's that for positive thinking?

"Well, who knows what would happen to your precious, little laptop? I could give it to Iggy and Gazzy and say that they could do whatever they want with it. They could tear it apart, blow it up, set it on _fire_. Who knows, who cares? I sure don't, but I know that _you _do. So what do you say, Fangy-boy? Will you let your little, precious labtop burn, or suck up your pride and leave, so we can plan your party?" I asked sounding sickeningly sweet by the end. Damn, I'm devious. This is fun. I wonder what will be better torturing Fang like this, or humiliating him in front of the flock. My answer: both.

"Fine, I'll go. I hope your happy, Miss Max Ride," Fang said sounding like he was trying to mock me, but then decided he didn't feel like it.

"Oh, you bet I am Mr. Fang. Now so you don't feel like you going out for no reason, I have some errands you can run for all of us," I said, handing Fang a list seemingly a mile long. I am so evil! But since I'm generous as well, I cut down the list by a lot, so it was only about 150 things. Fang's eyes got wide as he saw the list and then stuffed it in his pocket. Ooh, I am being so evil! But, who cares, I can be evil to Fang. Besides he's super cute when he looks like he wants to kill me. Wait, what I am saying? Fang? _Super cute? _What am I thinking? He's like a brother to me. My right hand man, my best friend. I shouldn't be thinking like this. I've spent too much time acting like a girly girl today.

"Well, leave already! I haven't got all day! And, besides, you have a lot of errands to be ran," I said smirking by the end. This is fun. I should torture Fang more often.

"Fine," he said opening the window to fly out. "All this for a dang birthday party," Fang muttered, leaving the house.

"I heard that!" I yelled after him. Now we get to the fun part!

**(Fang POV)**

"All this for a dang birthday party," I muttered, leaving through the window.

"I heard that!" I head Max call after me. God, she's so evil. I f it wasn't for the laptop, I'd be so out of here. But that's the laptop we stole from ITEX, and it would be way too easy for someone to track us from a normal computer. So, I had to do this because it was my only choice.

I decided to look at the way too long list Max had given me. It probably had over 100 things on it. I looked at the top couple of things.

**Gasoline **_**(Iggy)**_

**The pink shampoo **_**(Ella, Nudge, Angel)**_

**Lollipops **_**(Gazzy)**_

**Cookie mix **_**(Ms. Martinez)**_

**The fancy purple dress from Kohl's **_**(From Angel, for Max)**_

**Tie- dye shirt **_**(For Fang)**_

And that's when I had to stop looking. I was _not_ getting myself a tie-dyed shirt. End of story. What was with all this junk? It's, like, Max just passed this around the house without me noticing. Seriously, we don't need any of this stuff. And how in the hell am I supposed to get gasoline for Iggy? _Why_ does he even need gasoline? I don't think I want to know.

Do I really have to do all this? I don't even know where to go for any of this junk.

I guess, I didn't, but what else was there to do? I started my trek by looking for "the pink shampoo"(I was totally skipping the gasoline).

* * *

**So that's it. I am so sorry that I didn't get to where Max shows the video yet. I just thought this would be a good place to end. But, trust me, it will definitely be in the next chapter. I thought it was good, all and all. Max was very evil and devious. Which was fun to write.**

**What did you think? Put it in a review. Didya like it, love it, hate it, think it was the best thing you've ever read? I want to know. And I would really love it if you told me.**

**Fang *whispers*: If you review maybe you'll get me in a tye-dyed shirt.**

**Oh, hush. You know you'd hate that.**

**Fang: I know, but it would get you to write the next chapter faster.**

**True, true. Okay, listen to Fang!**

**Happy Mother's Day!**

**Hope to be back soon!**

**-Wingz**

**P.S. Here's a preview to the next chapter:**

Damn, it's really loud downstairs. What the heck is that? It sounds like… lots of laughing?

Ok, I know this is a house full of mutants/humans/weird mutant flying dogs/regular, normal dogs, but usually we aren't _that_ loud.

God, I'll just go find out myself.

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End file.
